Wow...If I didn't know any better... I'd say this was a space!

Hey!

This is a cool thing someone showed me, I think its from a computer add but stil v cool :D

 

Paradox- Brisbane City News

 Pauline threatens a political

comeback, releases book

 

ONE of Australia’s most controversial political figures says she might make a comeback. This is scaring people.

 

FORMER One National Leader  Pauline Handgrenade has announces she might return to politics to fight AIDS, tuberculosis and the perverse influence of Teletubbles. Ms Handgrenade, who rose to prominence by attacking minority groups, said she had found a whole new group of minorities that she needed to protect “Austraya” from.

“I have seen some people walking around wearing T-towels on their heads,” she said.

“I think they might be terrorists and they may sneak into our houses at night, stealing puppies and spreading AIDS.”

Ms. Handgrenade said most of her research had come from watching early-evening current affairs programs and listening to callers on late-night radio.

“I see people on these programs who look like they come from a completely different country where they don’t wash their hands or celebrate Christmas.” She said.

“They are fighting with their neighbours, stealing the savings of little old ladies and adding untold fat and preservatives to our food, causing obesity and black plague.”

Ms. Handgrenade said she also believed Australian children were being brainwashed by Teletubbles.

“Names like Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po say just one thing to me – drugs and porn,” she said.

“They wear provocative costumes with symbols on their head that I believe may have satanic messages and may be revealing our secrets to aliens.

“And they say their diet consists wholly of Tubble Custard. I think we all know what Tubble Custard is. Nothing good ever came from Tubble Custard.”

Ms. Handgrenade said immigration was stopping people from celebrating Christmas, as seen from the complete lack of Christmas decoration and presents in shopping centres and on television, and Australian children could no longer go swimming because Muslims disliked water.

Ms. Handgrenade denied her threat to return to politics had anything to do with boosting sales of her new book.

“If you are hearing this,” she said in a pre-recorded interview, “I have probably been kidnapped by a group of marauding Teletubbles who don’t want people to know the truth. For the sake of our childrens' children and possibly their pets, you must go on and not let me distract you for a moment from buying my book.

“I am a proud Austrayan who speaks with the people and dances with the stars. I have a right to know the answers.”

Scholars suggested she look up Wikipedia like everyone else.

Ms Handgrenade won a seat in Federal Parliament last century during a national brain explosion and has been using her profile to lose elections and dance contests ever since. She was recently voted “person most likely to eat her cat”.

"Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya, China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.

"Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil . . . in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil . . . we're the best."
 
"Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

"An axis can't have more than three countries", explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."
 
"International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.  Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable...."

"With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics".

"Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

"While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in 'Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

"Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked them."

 

Hey!

Suddenly I noticed that I had not written for half a year... not that I ever wrote much or very well but we ignore that fact!

Man I wish I could write somthing useful - for useful bloging go to Dan's awsome space, tis hilarious - stryker_deepblue

Yes I have in fact written a rule book in relating to me :D And already have minions on click command to recite it (tis so awsome!)

The rules are as follows:

1. Grace always wins

2. Grace is always right

3. If  Grace loses or is wrong.... refer to rules one and two :D

So yeh wow ... what have I done in the past year for thos eof you who are cronicalyl bored. Umm... ok I have been in Two Weeks With the Queen, Cage Birds and What Lydia did. Which are all cool! lol umm Zen Zen Zo is still the most amazlingly awsome place ever :D love it. But Tateey is going over seas which is good coz he works us hard but bad... coz we love Tatey!

 

Uh on the weekend I went to A UN youth conference which was awsome! Met some great ppl!!!!! And there was real talent in the UN-talented contest (WAIT TIL MELBOURNE!) OMG i just realised i havnt done a ranting blog about Evatt! Well yes OMG Sam and I got picked to go to nationals for this mock UN security cousel competition which is like awsome awsome version of debating. We are the youngest team ever! Soz but I am so hyped! So yeh we just found out that we'r erepresenting Slovakia which is cool and yeh we're going with Sam and Dan which is awsome as well (they're Japan)

 

Ok congrats if you got this far - most go 'what is this girl on' before this point.

Umm I don't think I blogged on fencing nationals which were fun! I didn't do fantastically but hey, I fluked it last yr so needed to prove i actually wasn't good ;) But was stil awsome and we saw some great fencing and got to cheer on the QLD (and our adopted qld- Scudds) and we could have taped the social aspects and sent it to 'the bold and the beautiful'  so yeh good times :D

 

Anyone who is bored on Friday come see 'What Lydia did' - not a masterpeice of modern theatre but hey it's somthing to do on a Friday night (man I can't believe I just typed that... o well nerd pride world wide)

So yeh may get photos up soon or i may not,... you never know ur luck in the big city!

 

Love you all (well not all.. theres always the silent minority... but uno)

Grace

P.S. I must praise my faithful minions - Dan and Gen - top job guys - you keep me big headed :D

P.P.S Due to popular demand I must state - yes I am in teh Shakespeare fan club :D Tis awsome

Hey all!

Just got back from performing Yaku Toshi, our hybrid arts performance!

Everything that went wrong in rehersal went well :D

But everything that was perfect in rehersal went WAY wrong :(

I improved this WHOLE part by myself... hehe was funny... well not whole part... but entry part.... still scared me half 2 death! I thought my makeup would melt off, my face was BURNING!!!!!

Haha but apparently no-one noticed and it was good!

Put some photos online coz I had COOL makeup

Will put production photos on when I havem!

Love u all

Grace

 

P.S. I take it back, no photos... stupid thing refuses 2 work :(